Blues Vaccine: Gives you a small dose of the blues, so that later, when your woman leaves you, you wish her well and ask if she needs some gas money.
Venom Vaccine: Allows you to impress your friends on camping trips by letting rattlesnakes bite you. Also, you can show up for a date with spiders on your face.
Researcher attempted to enlist his friend Don for testing, but Don chickened out.
Heebie-Jeebies Vaccine: Subjects’ immune systems reacted well against the heebies but were ineffective against the jeebies.
State-Capital Vaccine: Positive results! Subject injected with vaccine was asked to name the capital of a certain state. He started to answer but then became physically ill.
Class-Reunion Vaccine: Your brain can trick you into believing that you look younger than most of your high-school classmates and should attend the class reunion. This vaccine would prevent that.
Overdoing-It Vaccine: Another success! Subjects were divided into two groups, with the placebo group continuing to overdo it while the vaccine group did just enough to get by.
Jack-O’-Lantern Vaccine: An example of what I call a “talk vaccine.” In this case, you explain to a child that, no matter what he’s heard, a scary jack-o’-lantern cannot come to life and chase you.
Hangover Vaccine: The holy grail of vaccines. Despite years of study, little progress.
Anti-Prancing Vaccine: Disappointing results. Vaccine actually increased the impulse to prance. Researcher has come to suspect that the urge to prance may be unstoppable.
Werewolf Vaccine: Doesn’t prevent you from becoming a werewolf, but does make you more amenable to counselling.
Blubbering Vaccine: As men age, their immune systems are less able to resist sentimentality, and they cry more, like babies. Ten older men were given the vaccine and were then asked to watch the scene in “Old Yeller” in which Old Yeller dies. None of the men cried, and one old man even laughed.
Get-Down Vaccine: Prevents you from snapping your fingers and “gettin’ that rhythm.”
Mystery Vaccine: Not exactly sure what this vaccine does. Requires multiple injections with increasingly large needles.
Enthusiasm Vaccine: Enthusiasm has afflicted mankind for millennia. It is estimated that in Europe during the Middle Ages fully one-half of the population was enthusiastic. The problem is that someone with even a slight case of enthusiasm can infect another person with a full-blown case. Prospects for vaccine: slim.
Pseudo-Vaccine: Doesn’t really do much of anything, but comes with a coupon for half off your next vaccine. ♦
Source: Vaccines I’m Working On